Shyness is considered a personality trait that can be problematic for many people – making it difficult to achieve professional and personal goals. What can we do when shyness makes our life difficult?
Causes of shyness – where does it come from?
According to data published by the American Psychological Association (APA), shyness affects 3-13% of the population. It can be caused by various causative factors. It is often related to low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Sometimes its source is in childhood – excessive parental ambitions, numerous orders and prohibitions may contribute to the development of this trait. Shyness is more often experienced by children from families with lower socio-material status
Shyness is often triggered by unpleasant experiences, such as being ridiculed, humiliated by peers, or living in the shadow of a more feisty sibling. Interestingly, some psychologists believe that shyness can be inherited
How does shyness manifest itself?
Before we present ways to deal with morbid shyness, it is worth mentioning how this problem manifests itself. Shy people feel anxious during social contacts, they are embarrassed, especially when they are in a larger group of people. They often adopt a submissive attitude even though they internally disagree with a position. They tend to analyze their behaviors and torture themselves by recalling various reactions and behaviors. They tend to fall into anxiety and depressive states. Shy people are often accompanied by feelings of loneliness and are socially passive. As for physiological symptoms, these are:
- accelerated heart rate,
- facial flushing,
- hand trembling.
How to overcome shyness – the small steps method
How to overcome shyness? Unfortunately, there is no one universal way to deal with shyness – it is worth trying different ways. First, you need to think about the situations in which we are most often shy? What makes you feel uncomfortable? You can keep a journal and write down all the circumstances and your reactions. It is also worth trying visualization and meditation techniques, talking about the problem with a trusted person, or even using therapy if the problem is in the form of a strong social phobia
Don’t avoid social contact, even if you feel uncomfortable in a larger group of people – training makes perfect. The more often we meet someone, the better our communication skills will be. Appreciate those moments when you feel comfortable and at ease with others. And most importantly, be understanding to yourself and give yourself time!
Shyness – an advantage or disadvantage?
We should not treat shyness as a disadvantage, although undoubtedly in many cases it makes everyday life difficult. Many people who struggle with this problem complain about:
- lack of friends and acquaintances,
- difficulty establishing closer relationships,
- not being able to defend their opinions,
- being underestimated for their strengths.
What are the advantages of being shy? People with this personality trait are considered reasonable, balanced and patient. Because they are overly fearful of criticism, they often strive for perfectionism in their actions.
We hope that our tips will be useful for people who want to overcome their shyness. It is also worth considering the help of a professional – a psychologist or a psychotherapist can give our life a new quality.